Scream Cream… Does it Work?
Looking to spice things up? This product might be the solution or just another waste of time. The question answered in this video is… Does Scream Cream Really Work?
Today I’m making THE MOST awkward video I’ve ever made. I’m not doing this for the shock value… not as Click Bait to get more views… I’m doing it because there’s a product I think you should know about. And the reason it’s awkward is because it’s highly sexual in nature.
So without dragging this thing out, Scream Cream is a slang term used for a product that allegedly increases a woman’s libido and intensifies her orgasms. Now this is assuming she’s actually having orgasms. So for all of you selfish bastards out there, if she’s not, I suggest you figure that shit out before some other guy figures it out for you.
But, for those of us still here. I actually put a lot of thought into how to present this information in the most accurate and tactful way. So the first thing I did was go to my wife and tell her I needed help with a video… and by help, I meant I needed her to go on camera and explain to the viewers, a product that might be… let’s just say… a little uncomfortable to talk about. And she basically told me if I was referring to Scream Cream, that I had lost my damned mind and it would be a cold day in Hell before anything like that ever happened in my lifetime.
As you can imagine, I had anticipated the outcome of that conversation and already had a backup plan, just in case. And here’s what I came up with… I decided to change the names of the individuals as not to reveal their true identities. Now to be honest, I didn’t run this idea by the wife, mostly because of how the first conversation went, but also because I’ve found, as the old saying goes, “It’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission.”.
So here we go… See, the reason this works is because I’m no longer telling you personal information about my wife an I… but instead, I’m going to tell you a story about “Bob and Susan”… and their experience with Scream Cream.
One day Bob hears about this product and says to Susan… “Hey, How about we try this new compound, made of a bunch of scientific words I can’t even pronounce, but it’s supposed to make you… You know… more often and harder.” And Susan’s like “Sure. Sounds like fun”. See, Susan doesn’t have a problem doing this shit… Susan has a problem admitting to 25,000 strangers that she does this shit.
Anyway… Bob orders it, it comes in, and it’s in a Topi Click container. A Topi Click is a dispenser where you rotate the bottom part and the medication is dispensed through the top. It’s called a Topi click because the bottom part clicks as you twist it, allowing you to precisely administer the correct dosage. I should also note that this is a prescribed medication. You can’t just walk into Walgreens and ask for Scream Cream… well, I suppose you could, and yes, that would be funny, but you’re not walking out with it unless it’s approved by a medial professional first.
Now, Bob doesn’t have much faith in this product because at 52 years old, he’s never even heard of it. And if it worked as advertised, he figured he would have heard something by now… on the news, Time Magazine, the Tabloids… somewhere. But nothing.
Regardless, Bob doesn’t care what it is, how it works, or even IF it works. All Bob knows is he’s going to get lucky. And that’s enough for Bob. So he half assed reads the directions, which clearly state for the female to apply 1 click of Scream Cream to the genital area. Bob throws the container to Susan and says, “Hurry up, you don’t have to put it on like you’re painting a Picaso. Just apply it somewhere in the general vicinity of your “area”. Susan complies and they decide to see what happens.
Nothing. That’s what happens. Don’t get me wrong, it was still really good, but not a vast improvement over the mind blowing, incredible sex they normally have. Bob thinks to himself, “Whatever, it was worth a try”. And Susan’s like, “Bob, did you even read the directions?” Susan looks at the container and notices Bob missed an entire sentence, which reads… “Apply 30 minutes before the act commences.”
Apparently there’s a reason companies include directions with their products. Come to find out, no pun intended, that this a is a Vaso and Bronchodilator, which means it increases blood flow to the area of application. Making the product synonymous with Women’s Viagra. So there’s a bonafide reason for the waiting period.
Soon thereafter, Bob and Susan decide try it again, this time following directions. 30 minutes prior to commencement, the Scream Cream was applied. And this time… this time… well, let’s just say the results of that experiment are the reason I’m making this video.
The benefits didn’t do anything for Bob directly, but the obvious physical and audible benefits to Susan, were more than enough to get Bob’s seal of approval. Susan also highly approves of this product, whether she wants to publicly admit it or not.
So, in scientific terms, this shit works when applied as instructed. And yes, this product is available at my HRT clinic, Viking Alternative Medicine. How much does it cost?
Does it really matter?
And that’s the condensed version of the story. So it’s probably time for me to get out of here before my wife not only makes me delete the video, but also destroys the micro-SD card and the camera along with it. I just want to say Bob… Susan… I want to thank both of you freaks for your story… I think it’s going to bring a lot of joy to a lot of couples.
But before I go, it wouldn’t be one of my videos if I didn’t end it with, “Always remember, you are never too old to live like a Viking”.
I think I hear Susan…
Until next time, Peace Out.